So you don't know me. But that's ok. Even I don't know me most days. But what's important is that you're here for something. Whatever it is I hope you find it and I hope it makes you happy.
Because I'm starting to think that we don't get what we want AND get happiness. I'm starting to think you have to choose. But if came down to being skinny and sad or happy and fat.... I'd rather be skinny and sad. Because eventually if I got skinny enough I think I'd be happy again. But if I chose happiness I'd being fat I'd eventually get sad again. That's the way it works.
Pick your poison.
I write when my head is too full to think and I stop eating when words fail me because, really, starving is the most powerful statement of them all.
Who am I when I'm hungry? And I've learned that then and sometimes only then do people really have to listen to you. I'm the girl that raises up a megaphones and shouts her iniquities but when the lights are out I;'m as wiped clean as the rest of them but
I enjoy being sick somehow noone notices because
I dont matter they're used to me being the crazy one.
I don't care really. It's status quo and
I've been told I know where I fit in.
Will I ever be happy?
Not I have to be fat and stuff food down my throat but who am I kidding I do that anyways. Maybe.
We'll see.
Starting SGD tomorrow. Wish me skinny.
